Esoteric

by CC

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1.
"I could not write this song I could not write this song I could tell you what's wrong but let's be real I'm not even keel about the things I feel I could, I could I really, really probably shouldn't Be doing this now I could not write this song We could get along We could rule the world but I'm too busy with cliches That don't pay but we do it anyway I could, maybe I fucking will No, nothing's right and why not? What's crazy is how we fought and in the end, it was you that brought in unexpected predictability I hit the wall. They're making the last call. I'd hate to see it end. I hope we can be friends. I really... probably... shouldn't I could not write this song I could not write this song"
2.
Victoria 03:39
"Victoria, my queen of the obscene I'm lost at any cost in between Victoria, sleep is my mistress My sustenance is your internal bliss Victoria! Victoria! Victoria! Victoria! Victoria! Victoria Victoria, yellow dress hair's a mess With your touch, I am blessed My supreme, queen of the obscene priestess of the unclean Unholy dream"
3.
I'm Dreaming 03:18
"I think I’m dreaming The days are shorter My eyes are screaming red, blue, and black The South is drowning and the West is on fire There’s ash in the air and there are cities underwater My head is swimming My mind is hot I write it down before it rots The leaves are brown and they’re falling down I think I’m dreaming red, blue, and black"
4.
Fatigue 02:25
"There is a world, a world, a world in the bottom of my cup and the flags have all unfurled and things well things are looking up I can't shake this feeling - feeling deep inside of me so put your hands up to the ceiling Can you feel the beat breaking free? Well this might not be that smart but I ain't learned since '93 If this is anything but art well, it got the best of me and the clowns on the radio they all tell me where to dance but I know just where to go they can't put us in a trance Well the man he wants my cash and he's kicking down the door but he can kiss my ass I ain't been paid since '94 and the hedgerows are on fire from the oil in the sea so throw me on the pyre and the flames will set me free Well this might not be that smart but I ain't learned since '93 If this is anything but art well, it got the best of me and the clowns on the radio they all tell me where to dance but I know just where to go they can't put us in a trance I'm the captain of a ship that's been trapped inside a bottle and the coin, it has been flipped and now it's landed on full throttle I've been sinking, sinking, sinking I fear it's taken hold of me and there's not much point in thinking cuz the beast has been set free Well this might not be that smart but I ain't learned since '93 If this is anything but art well, it got the best of me and the clowns on the radio they all say they hate my songs but I don't really care I know they've got it wrong Well this might not be that smart but I ain't learned since '93 If this is anything but art well, it got the best of me and the clowns on the radio they all tell us where to dance but I know just where to go they can't put us in a trance"
5.
Mechanisms 01:54
"How was your week? *Jeffrey? Jeffrey? C'mere Jeffrey* It was uh... It was alright. And how does that make you feel? *It makes you feel fucking crazy!* (Craaaazy) *But we can't say that here* It.. I don't mind it really. What steps can we take to improve this situation? *Situation? (Nononononononoooononono) that's a funny way of saying it* Um... Have you been sleeping lately? (Don't sleeeep) I uh... Have you used the steps we talked about? *Step One* Have you been eating well? I eat when I can. *Make like nothing bad is happening* Exercise is the best medicine. Mhm. How would you rate your symptoms on a scale of one to ten? *Step Two: Ignore your problems* (Look in the mirror... Look in the mirror) *Step Three: Look in the mirror* AHHHH! *Be a man Jeff, c'mon! Hahahaha!* Of one to ten... of one... to ten."
6.
Coping 03:38
"*Some day these problems are going to seem so SMALL* Um... today's not someday, today's today. *I can't believe I've lived this long. I don't understand why things went so wrong.* *Everything happens for a reason.* Give me a reason. Give me one good reason. *Every turn I take has been made before. Nothing seems right anymore.* It'll- it'll be okay. *And I don't know why... I can't seem to feel. I want to do everything and nothing. To create and destroy.* I'm only okay *I'm living with myself. No one else could have. It's never the right person listening. I'm not really sure anyone's listening.* *People only wait for their turn to speak.* I'm the shadow no one wants to talk about. A precursor to fear that hides idly. They asked me how I got here then ignore the answer."
7.
Empty 03:34
"I want the world to be empty I want to scream when there's no one around I want to breathe in the sunset and cry when the sun falls down I am the shadow of my memories Watch as time never stops I want to die in the winter and watch my last breath turn to frost Bury my guitar in the snow so the frozen melodies never go I am my own worst enemy. Beat my head against the wall I am the shadow of my memories I am the solstice, I'm the Fall Everyone is pretty with the sun setting over their shoulder I'm beginning to feel empty I'm beginning to feel... Empty."
8.
Acceptance 05:13
"Despite my best intensions the sun came up today Whatever works, it's not the best but it's not any worse I made the call a minute ago Who could say where it will go Talked to myself on your answering machine Standing in between I don't want to write anymore but here I am again Sitting with myself my shadow, and my pen I lost my mind a while ago fumbling for my keys I shattered the frame, who can I blame for this hollow peace? And there's a hunger in my head that I refuse to feed It's the message that I dread that I refuse to read So for now I'll rest my head and remember those long gone In my heart, you're never dead I offer you this song The moon is full and bright tonight and loving only me She guides my pen with her light beneath the hanging tree Remember, my friend when the day becomes too loud the moon is still behind the cloud and this is not the end Oh this is not the end And I don't know what will become of me There is something more that stands in front of the night I'll shake my cage and rattle my chains until they start to rust and there is truly nothing left in me if I can't be... Free."
9.
The Tides 03:18
"Have a seat, my oldest friend. It's time to rest, this is the end. So far... for so long with half a heart and a broken song. The cracks inside will someday rend, but for now I'll twist fate and bend. So tired for so long with half a heart and a broken song. All the salt that makes a man; looking for a higher plan. Try your best to carry on with half a heart and a broken song. Falling down the well again. Where are you, my oldest friend? You can't keep up and I can't pretend with half a heart and a broken song. Troubles come, but never go. Where are you? I just don't know. The tides ebb, but never flow with half a heart and a broken song. All the salt that makes a man; looking for a higher plan. Try your best to carry on with half a heart and a broken song. I think one time they gave it away, the punchline to all our jokes. The beauty of a perfect hoax. The shadows of our ghost. If I could only... If I could only close my eyes. The universe swallows us whole and spits out the bones. We break upon every planet and star. There's a danger in knowing how you fell so far, but I can only tell you who you think you are. If I could only close my eyes... If I could only. All the salt that makes a man; looking for a higher plan. Try your best to carry on with half a heart and a broken song."
10.
Tourniquet 04:01
"Back beat!"
11.
"The night falls down, enters all around. Her lonely dreams, trapped underground. And I- Don't wanna feel so much. I- Don't wanna feel so much. I may be a fraud, think you're closer to god, but you've killed the mood. Find something to put it into. And you- Don't wanna feel so much. You- Don't wanna feel so much of the pain. I don't believe that we can see the sun sink in. You don't know where to begin and neither do I. The night's our sin as we take off our skin. So let's dance 'til we're young. They don't know where we've been. She- Just wants to feel so much. She- Just wants to feel so much. I may be a fraud. Lost all hope in your god, but you've killed the mood. You've killed the mood... I don't believe that we can see the sun sink in. You don't know where to begin and neither do I. In the end, she thought she'd pretend. Nothing mattered when they counted to three. She left her home, if it's called a home. Lost her mind along the way. The door slammed behind her and she never looked back. No remorse, no ambition, no plan to attack. The doctors said she'd catch a break. No one warned them of her mental state. Voices silent as she counted to three..."
12.
"At home, looking out the window, I saw your shadow growing bored. I wrote you a song yesterday, but indecision twisted the right chords. They tell me I'm bad at writing love songs. I fly too close to the sun, but lucky for me and lucky for you this song just isn't one. Here I am. Here I am. Here I am with empty hands. The world is an ocean that's drifting ashore. The world is an ocean and I am nothing more. There's an old man asleep in my head. He reads to me and tells me his tales and though he's forgotten and feels sometimes alone he raises a thought and sets his sails. We leave for an undiscovered ocean and dock on an island in the bay. At peace in the trees, alone with our thoughts, I would die to live another day. Here I am. Here I am. Here I am with empty hands. The world is an ocean that's drifting ashore. The world is an ocean and I am nothing more.

about

Esoteric is the accompaniment to our lives over the last three years. This record is how we discussed many problems that social stigmas generally keep us from discussing in public like depression, anxiety, and coping with everyday hardships.

credits

released December 7, 2018

CC
Esoteric
2018
credits

All original music and words by Colton Parrott and Claude Rodrigue
Except where noted.
ColtonParrott.AllRightsReserved.2018

Cover Art by: Aly Parrott

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Colton Parrott Albany, New York

Owner of Stray Sound Studio. Colton Parrott is a multi-instrumentalist and songwriter from Albany, NY. New album "Esoteric" Available Now!

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