Esoteric

by CC

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
2.
03:39
3.
03:18
4.
02:25
5.
01:54
6.
03:38
7.
03:34
8.
05:13
9.
03:18
10.
04:01
11.
12.

about

Esoteric is the accompaniment to our lives over the last three years. This record is how we discussed many problems that social stigmas generally keep us from discussing in public like depression, anxiety, and coping with everyday hardships.

credits

released December 7, 2018

CC
Esoteric
2018
credits

All original music and words by Colton Parrott and Claude Rodrigue
Except where noted.
ColtonParrott.AllRightsReserved.2018

Cover Art by: Aly Parrott

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Colton Parrott Albany, New York

Owner of Stray Sound Studio. Colton Parrott is a multi-instrumentalist and songwriter from Albany, NY. New album "Esoteric" Available Now!

Instagram: coltonparrott

contact / help

Contact Colton Parrott

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Jackson Pollock
"I could not write this song

I could not write this song
I could tell you what's wrong
but let's be real
I'm not even keel
about the things I feel

I could, I could
I really, really probably shouldn't

Be doing this now
I could not write this song
We could get along
We could rule the world
but I'm too busy with cliches
That don't pay

but we do it anyway
I could, maybe I fucking will

No, nothing's right

and why not? What's crazy is how we fought
and in the end, it was you that brought in
unexpected predictability

I hit the wall. They're making the last call.
I'd hate to see it end. I hope we can be friends.
I really... probably... shouldn't

I could not write this song
I could not write this song"
Track Name: Victoria
"Victoria, my queen
of the obscene
I'm lost at any cost
in between

Victoria, sleep is my mistress
My sustenance is your
internal bliss

Victoria! Victoria!
Victoria! Victoria!
Victoria! Victoria

Victoria, yellow dress
hair's a mess
With your touch, I am blessed

My supreme, queen of the obscene
priestess of the unclean
Unholy dream"
Track Name: I'm Dreaming
"I think I’m dreaming
The days are shorter
My eyes are screaming
red, blue, and black

The South is drowning
and the West is on fire
There’s ash in the air
and there are cities underwater

My head is swimming
My mind is hot
I write it down
before it rots

The leaves are brown
and they’re falling down
I think I’m dreaming
red, blue, and black"
Track Name: Fatigue
"There is a world, a world, a world
in the bottom of my cup
and the flags have all unfurled and things well
things are looking up
I can't shake this feeling - feeling
deep inside of me
so put your hands up to the ceiling
Can you feel the beat breaking free?

Well this might not be that smart
but I ain't learned since '93
If this is anything but art
well, it got the best of me
and the clowns on the radio
they all tell me where to dance
but I know just where to go
they can't put us in a trance

Well the man he wants my cash
and he's kicking down the door
but he can kiss my ass
I ain't been paid since '94
and the hedgerows are on fire
from the oil in the sea
so throw me on the pyre
and the flames will set me free

Well this might not be that smart
but I ain't learned since '93
If this is anything but art
well, it got the best of me
and the clowns on the radio
they all tell me where to dance
but I know just where to go
they can't put us in a trance

I'm the captain of a ship
that's been trapped inside a bottle
and the coin, it has been flipped
and now it's landed on full throttle
I've been sinking, sinking, sinking
I fear it's taken hold of me
and there's not much point in thinking
cuz the beast has been set free

Well this might not be that smart
but I ain't learned since '93
If this is anything but art
well, it got the best of me
and the clowns on the radio
they all say they hate my songs
but I don't really care
I know they've got it wrong

Well this might not be that smart
but I ain't learned since '93
If this is anything but art
well, it got the best of me
and the clowns on the radio
they all tell us where to dance
but I know just where to go
they can't put us in a trance"
Track Name: Mechanisms
"How was your week?

*Jeffrey? Jeffrey? C'mere Jeffrey*

It was uh... It was alright.

And how does that make you feel?

*It makes you feel fucking crazy!*

(Craaaazy)

*But we can't say that here*

It.. I don't mind it really.

What steps can we take to improve this situation?

*Situation? (Nononononononoooononono)
that's a funny way of saying it*

Um...

Have you been sleeping lately?

(Don't sleeeep)

I uh...

Have you used the steps we talked about?

*Step One*

Have you been eating well?

I eat when I can.

*Make like nothing bad is happening*

Exercise is the best medicine.

Mhm.

How would you rate your symptoms on a scale of one to ten?

*Step Two: Ignore your problems*

(Look in the mirror... Look in the mirror)

*Step Three: Look in the mirror*

AHHHH!

*Be a man Jeff, c'mon! Hahahaha!*

Of one to ten... of one... to ten."
Track Name: Coping
"*Some day these problems are going to seem so SMALL*

Um... today's not someday, today's today.

*I can't believe I've lived this long.
I don't understand why things went so wrong.*

*Everything happens for a reason.*

Give me a reason.
Give me one good reason.

*Every turn I take has been made before.
Nothing seems right anymore.*

It'll- it'll be okay.

*And I don't know why...
I can't seem to feel.
I want to do everything and nothing.
To create and destroy.*

I'm only okay

*I'm living with myself.
No one else could have.
It's never the right person listening.
I'm not really sure anyone's listening.*

*People only wait for their turn to speak.*


I'm the shadow no one wants to talk about.
A precursor to fear that hides idly.
They asked me how I got here
then ignore the answer."
Track Name: Empty
"I want the world to be empty
I want to scream when there's no one around
I want to breathe in the sunset
and cry when the sun falls down

I am the shadow of my memories
Watch as time never stops

I want to die in the winter
and watch my last breath turn to frost
Bury my guitar in the snow
so the frozen melodies never go

I am my own worst enemy.
Beat my head against the wall
I am the shadow of my memories
I am the solstice, I'm the Fall

Everyone is pretty with the sun setting over their shoulder
I'm beginning to feel empty

I'm beginning to feel...

Empty."
Track Name: Acceptance
"Despite my best intensions
the sun came up today
Whatever works, it's not the best
but it's not any worse

I made the call a minute ago
Who could say where it will go
Talked to myself on your answering machine
Standing in between

I don't want to write anymore
but here I am again
Sitting with myself
my shadow, and my pen

I lost my mind a while ago
fumbling for my keys
I shattered the frame, who can I blame
for this hollow peace?

And there's a hunger in my head
that I refuse to feed
It's the message that I dread
that I refuse to read

So for now I'll rest my head
and remember those long gone
In my heart, you're never dead
I offer you this song

The moon is full and bright tonight
and loving only me
She guides my pen with her light
beneath the hanging tree

Remember, my friend
when the day becomes too loud
the moon is still behind the cloud
and this is not the end

Oh this is not the end

And I don't know what will become of me
There is something more that stands in front of the night
I'll shake my cage and rattle my chains until they start to rust
and there is truly nothing left in me if I can't be...

Free."
Track Name: The Tides
"Have a seat, my oldest friend.
It's time to rest, this is the end.
So far... for so long
with half a heart and a broken song.

The cracks inside will someday rend,
but for now I'll twist fate and bend.
So tired for so long
with half a heart and a broken song.

All the salt that makes a man;
looking for a higher plan.
Try your best to carry on
with half a heart and a broken song.

Falling down the well again.
Where are you, my oldest friend?
You can't keep up and I can't pretend
with half a heart and a broken song.

Troubles come, but never go.
Where are you? I just don't know.
The tides ebb, but never flow
with half a heart and a broken song.

All the salt that makes a man;
looking for a higher plan.
Try your best to carry on
with half a heart and a broken song.

I think one time they gave it away,
the punchline to all our jokes.
The beauty of a perfect hoax.
The shadows of our ghost.
If I could only...
If I could only close my eyes.

The universe swallows us whole and spits out the bones.
We break upon every planet and star.
There's a danger in knowing how you fell so far,
but I can only tell you who you think you are.
If I could only close my eyes...
If I could only.

All the salt that makes a man;
looking for a higher plan.
Try your best to carry on
with half a heart and a broken song."
Track Name: Tourniquet
"Back beat!"
Track Name: Kill The Mood
"The night falls down,
enters all around.
Her lonely dreams,
trapped underground.

And I-
Don't wanna feel so much.
I-
Don't wanna feel so much.

I may be a fraud,
think you're closer to god,
but you've killed the mood.
Find something to put it into.

And you-
Don't wanna feel so much.
You-
Don't wanna feel so much
of the pain.

I don't believe that we can see
the sun sink in.
You don't know where to begin
and neither do I.

The night's our sin
as we take off our skin.
So let's dance 'til we're young.
They don't know where we've been.

She-
Just wants to feel so much.
She-
Just wants to feel so much.

I may be a fraud.
Lost all hope in your god,
but you've killed the mood.
You've killed the mood...

I don't believe that we can see
the sun sink in.
You don't know where to begin
and neither do I.

In the end,
she thought she'd pretend.
Nothing mattered when they counted to three.
She left her home, if it's called a home.
Lost her mind along the way.
The door slammed behind her and she never looked back.
No remorse, no ambition, no plan to attack.
The doctors said she'd catch a break.
No one warned them of her mental state.

Voices silent as she counted to three..."
Track Name: Man Is An Island
"At home, looking out the window,
I saw your shadow growing bored.
I wrote you a song yesterday,
but indecision twisted the right chords.

They tell me I'm bad at writing love songs.
I fly too close to the sun,
but lucky for me and lucky for you
this song just isn't one.

Here I am.
Here I am.
Here I am with empty hands.
The world is an ocean that's drifting ashore.
The world is an ocean and I am nothing more.

There's an old man asleep in my head.
He reads to me and tells me his tales
and though he's forgotten and feels sometimes alone
he raises a thought and sets his sails.

We leave for an undiscovered ocean
and dock on an island in the bay.
At peace in the trees, alone with our thoughts,
I would die to live another day.

Here I am.
Here I am.
Here I am with empty hands.
The world is an ocean that's drifting ashore.
The world is an ocean and I am nothing more.

Colton Parrott recommends:

If you like Esoteric, you may also like: